GOING BLANK AGAIN

Today I was mostly non-functional. This may have been due to a number of factors including the grey weather, insufficient sleep this past weekend or the standard bout of general malaise that surfaces from time to time.

Regardless of causation the result is the same; I felt like a malfunctioning droid running on reserve energy. I needed to bypass certain higher brain functions (such as rational thought) in order to conserve energy for essential areas of functioning such as breathing, walking, and the ability to smile and nod during “conversations”.

The iPod mix in the background only helped to contribute to my workplace coma, and somewhere between Radiohead’s “Lotus Flower” and Animal Collective’s “Did You See The Word’s” I was lost on another plain of reality, drifting to another dimension while my body operated in auto-pilot (maybe not a good day to be listening to ethereal post-rock).

Now that I think about it, Thom York’s lyrics were relevant today;

“I will sink and I will disappear
I will slip into the groove and cut me up”

Yes, “sink and disappear” works well on day a like this, as I was lost in a void of sorts, a fog of nothingness that I drifted towards as the hypnotic rhythm of the music carried me away.

Today was about creating the illusion of actually being present, which in my books is OK once in a while. Anyone feeding you the “carpe diem” 24/7 line is either trying to sell you something or is functioning in a mythical place where the world doesn’t have the ability to occasionally suck the life out of you and force you to power down for a little while.

Some days are like this and I suppose it is good to ride the wave of nothingness occasionally and let it envelop you in its sweet and empty embrace.

WHEN THE SIGNS MAKE NO SENSE...

The buttons cancel each other out and therefore there is no truth, no stable or reliable guidelines to follow. Everything disintegrates into chaos and uncertainty, in many ways reflective of life in the early 21st century.

Absurd and contradictory realities are present daily as we navigate the murky waters of an accelerated culture, with few reliable points of reference to help us on our journey. The landscape alters before our eyes.

I think that these days many people live with a staggering degree of cognitive dissonance that persists like some ubiquitous low grade migraine. It is always present under the surface.

The internal tensions are chronic; driving your minivan on grid locked highways knowing fully that this isn't the best of possible worlds, buying cheap goods at some big box store in order to keep family costs down, vaguely aware that you are participating in an economic system that is self defeating and contributing to an erosion of the ideals that you would strive to uphold. The list could be endless and staggering

Yet somehow we manage to function within this tension, going about our daily life, often half asleep, both by choice and out of necessity. How else would we function in the face of so many competing and conflicting narratives?

Thankfully there are profound moments of beauty that offer a glimpse of something much larger than ourselves, something less temporal and grander than what our own limited imaginations could possibly conjure up.

Our vain efforts at understanding are left mute and impotent in the thrilling echoes of a baby's inexplicable laughter, in snow packed mountains shrouded in mist, or in the awakening mass of abundant life that resurrects each spring. In these instances the fog lifts momentarily and we are fully awake, soaking up profound truths that are older than our own collective memories can recall.

Yes, the signposts are either fading or are often pointing in contradictory directions. Yet beyond reason or anything we can construct there are persistent echoes that have lasted throughout the ages that will continue to resonate long after we are gone.

There are wise words, profound moments of beauty and faint whispers that offer a fleeting glimpse of larger forces of life. Perhaps the real challenge is to stop and listen from time to time.

(A quick shout out to the fabulous boingboing - for the link to these wonderful buttons and for providing great fodder for contemplation)