GOING BLANK AGAIN

Today I was mostly non-functional. This may have been due to a number of factors including the grey weather, insufficient sleep this past weekend or the standard bout of general malaise that surfaces from time to time.

Regardless of causation the result is the same; I felt like a malfunctioning droid running on reserve energy. I needed to bypass certain higher brain functions (such as rational thought) in order to conserve energy for essential areas of functioning such as breathing, walking, and the ability to smile and nod during “conversations”.

The iPod mix in the background only helped to contribute to my workplace coma, and somewhere between Radiohead’s “Lotus Flower” and Animal Collective’s “Did You See The Word’s” I was lost on another plain of reality, drifting to another dimension while my body operated in auto-pilot (maybe not a good day to be listening to ethereal post-rock).

Now that I think about it, Thom York’s lyrics were relevant today;

“I will sink and I will disappear
I will slip into the groove and cut me up”

Yes, “sink and disappear” works well on day a like this, as I was lost in a void of sorts, a fog of nothingness that I drifted towards as the hypnotic rhythm of the music carried me away.

Today was about creating the illusion of actually being present, which in my books is OK once in a while. Anyone feeding you the “carpe diem” 24/7 line is either trying to sell you something or is functioning in a mythical place where the world doesn’t have the ability to occasionally suck the life out of you and force you to power down for a little while.

Some days are like this and I suppose it is good to ride the wave of nothingness occasionally and let it envelop you in its sweet and empty embrace.