Wednesday, April 8, 2009

MAY 1, 1601.

Today I accidentally discovered that I can't go any further back in time on my Outlook calendar than May 1, 1601. My archaic laptop at work was having a temper tantrum and decided to jam some of the keys, thus causing my Outlook calendar to zoom rapidly backwards in monthly increments, stopping abruptly at the above mentioned date in the year 1601.

I attempted to scroll back further, but to no avail. Upon further investigation I learned Windows uses January 1, 1601 as a baseline for both file dates and active directory logon dates. I also learned that for most computers the ANSI date format (YYYY-MM-DD) is counted from 1601-01-01, having something to do with the last 400 year cycle from which leap years are calculated in the Gregorian calendar.

For me this was significant setback, because I have been plotting on an ongoing basis around how to use my Outlook calendar as a tool for messing with the space-time continuum (for mostly benevolent reasons I might add). Much to my dismay it is clear now that I cannot book any appointments or schedule any of those helpful pop-up reminders I had planned for in the 16th Century or earlier.

Now I am seriously bummed out because I was planning to send a message to my old pal Prince Sigismund Bathory of Transylvania on May 5, 1600, warning him that the following day his beloved city of Suceava was going to be sacked by Michael the Brave of Wallachia. Now what am I supposed to do?
I could look at getting that old Flux Capacitor retrofitted for my Toyota Corolla and show up in person I suppose, but I fear getting stuck in the past and having to wait another 400 years or so to be born. That would be a tad inconvenient.

Of course don't get me started on the whole "butterfly effect", and the possibility that my own valiant efforts to save Prince Sigismund could disrupt the normal time line in the first place, thus preventing my own birth and causing this whole endeavour to disappear in a big puff of logic.

Any suggestions?

Related Post: My Time Travelling Outlook Calendar


Comrade Kevin said...

If you get really bored, start translating important dates in history to the Julian calender.

Dean Wormer said...

I'm pretty sure they didn't have computers until at least the 1700s.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

The only thing that I can think of that might work would be to make a post warning Old Princey, but then backdating the post. I think Blogger still lets you do that, and if Google owns everything back to 1601, surely they can handle a few extra months.

RC said...

what if there was appoints from the 17th century that you missed...what would you do!!

Randal Graves said...

Mostly benevolent? Great, now they really will save Hitler's brain in a jar.

mellowlee said...

*hand claps* I have no useful suggestions, just wanted to say that was excellent :O) Happy Easter

Westcoast Walker said...

Kevin - thanks for the boredom fighting tip and for opening up a whole new avenue to channel my OCD behaviour.

Dean - the lack of computers is not a problem - I have this wonderful temporal conversion messaging system that allows my Outlook reminders to apppear in a format appropriate to the epoch in which I send them - in the case of Prince Sigismund it would likely come to him in a dream, or through a talking bird on his window ledge (with a little help from some magic mushrooms of course)

Barb - thanks for you awesome suggestion. I blog post backdated a few hundred years would do the trick. Also, Sigismund's enemies might not think to check older posts for secret information!

RC - missed appointment are nothing, you should see the fines I have collected from books I forgot to return to the library from a recent trip to the early 19th Century.

Randal - don't worry, no brains in jars - just a few trips back in time to obtain mint editions of Action Comics #1 to sell on eBay.

Mellowlee - thanks for the vote of confidence and for reinforcing my need to engage in self indulgent and fanciful musings

Anonymous said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.