Friday, August 8, 2008


I gave into my baser instincts the other day and went to a certain large Swedish household furnishings store that sells lots of crap you get to assemble yourself. It was a necessary evil, as I had some books that were rather irate at me for being left in boxes for so long and I promised them a swanky new shelf with a view.

After resisting the urge to buy a box of one million tea light candles at the check out I was intrigued by some of the reserved parking spots I noticed throughout the lot outside. With "hybrid vehicle" and "family" parking spots you are rewarded for either buying an expensive and fuel efficient car, or for deciding to breed and then having to forcibly drag your children through this monolithic structure.

I was inspired so I decided to document the other unique reserved parking spots that I noticed;

Of course I survived the experience, new shelves in tow and in complete denial about the hours of assembly that lay ahead. In many ways it is a strange experience for me when I go there, as the slick, orderly and highly rationalized shopping environment makes me feel like I am in some 1950's futurist fantasy sequence.

Needless to say I was happy to return to my home, where disorderly mountain streams and majestic pines surround me, and where my books breathed a sigh of relief at the promise of their impending liberation.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Harumpf! I don't notice a zombie parking only spot. I guess I'll just have to go with the Soup Nazi spot, as that is the closest to correct that I am going to find.

For god's sake, don't lose that Allen wrench or your books will forever be shelfless.

Allison said...

Its the arrows that get me in that place, and the showrooms, oh and the tea lights. ;) One of my favourite lines from film is in Fight Club when Ed Norton is flipping through the catalogue and asks, "What silverware set defines me?"

It is a very surreal experience trying to shop there. I've only been in a few times, once buying a book shelf that took my friend and I more than I'd like to admit trying to assemble it. It collapsed soon after too. I wish you more luck!

PJ said...

I hate how they force you to travel in a certain direction to see their wares. At least it's like that in my local store.

The last time we went my mother felt like going to the loo but she also wanted to look at the flowers, and as she didn't want to go to the loo then go back into the maze for the flowers she stayed in the shopping area while I hoped that she didn't pee herself. Evil shop.

mellowlee said...

I totally lose my marbles shopping there!!!!! I just want to run everywhere at once, and as Al pointed out, those arrows ARGH!

I go in for some DVD storage boxes, and come out with tealights, some kitchen gadgets, funky novelty lighting, a plastic chair of some sort (which will break within the next 3 months), and leave a trail of discarded items behind me; deciding I don't really need extra food storage containers after all.

I got the fall catalogue yesterday. I've decided that my big messy life could use an large Swedish household furnishings store trip soon haha!

Have you tried the meatballs? MMMMM lingon berries YUM

Anonymous said...

I'm still working through the last box of one million tea light candles I bought back in 2001.

I haven't been in an IKEA since.

Dean Wormer said...

Bahaha! My own spot at Ikea.


robyn bright said...

yay for goth parking spots!!!