There is freedom in letting go of time for a moment and leaving myself open to what may present itself to me.
I try to breath...
I have taken (yet another) break from the blogosphere for the last few weeks, mainly because my eyes have been transfixed by the glittery Christmas lights everywhere and I have been filled with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. It's also important to mention the continual spinning of my wheels and the proverbial running on fumes that is an inherent part of this season for me. I was worried of course about the catastrophic consequences of this lengthy break, not only for the well-being of the dozen or so people who regularly read my blog, but for myself as well. Like many others I have this pathological need to broadcast my thoughts to the world and have them float around in cyberspace until the end of time.
I am not a terribly content or functional person when I haven't had the chance to express, in one manner or another, the numerous ideas or musings that are percolating in my tiny brain at any given time. Without this I eventually deflate like one of those neglected bobo clowns that only bounce back half-heartedly when knocked about by some capricious being.
Blogging has been cathartic exercise for me and has resulted in significantly less "emotional ketchup bottling". It's like having a digital sandbox at my disposal where I can play, create and explore half baked ideas. It's also way more fun than an old fashioned diary because I can share it with a few other lost souls who also share this rather strange hobby.
Who knows, maybe 50 years from now some hapless person will stumble upon my ramblings in some obscure corner of the internet archive and have a life changing experience, or at the very least a good chuckle over the self possessed nature of early 21st century homosapiens like me.
Admitting out loud that one likes to blog sort of engenders a response that is one half "how interesting" and one half "get a life" from others. It is a early 21st century cliché that many middle class Western types feel compelled to share the minutiae of their lives or their ideas with any number of strangers who stumble upon their postings.
Having said all this, there is something completing captivating about this experience for me, and I have been fortunate enough to make some connections with other folks who I have found to be utterly inspirational. The exchange of ideas (or at least good music at times) has lifted me out of the doldrums on a few occasions when I have realized that there are other people out their sharing some similar obsessions or who are willing to engage in spirited dialogue.
This of course can never replace good old fashioned face to face discourse with your neighbour where you live, though as the world changes and we become increasingly connected digitally I am also starting to include some of my blogging friends in the "neighbour" category as well. In many ways some of are like the dream neighbours I would like to have because they are the type of folks who seem switched on, tuned in and ready to engage in the very human enterprise of sharing ideas and making connections.